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Chosen Family

Posted on 14 Jul 2024

July 14, 2024

Ruth 1:1-18

Rev. Kristen J. Kleiman

 

Even though this passage from the book of Ruth is about a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, strangely enough, it is a recommended passage for weddings.  I am going to guess that that is because the Bible has very little to say about romantic love.  After all, the Bible is the story of God’s love for God’s people.

The book of Ruth is a parable, a short story intended to teach a truth or lesson so there are lots of meanings to be found in the book of Ruth.  While there is not clear consensus on their translations, the Hebrew names used in this book could all be seen as a play on words.  Elimelech “my God is King” leaves his home in the “House of Bread” because there is famine.  Some read the book of Ruth and see the consequences of moving to a foreign place for food, instead of trusting that God is king.  The consequences being that you will end up dead and so will your sons.

That’s a pretty morbid interpretation; however for anyone who has ever studied history or read Harry Potter, you are aware that every culture has a time when they have desired “purity”, a time when they have encouraged their people to “stick” to their own kind.

Some scholars believe that the book of Ruth was written at just such a time in Israel’s history, a time when religious leaders were encouraging xenophobia and discrimination against foreigners.  Those scholars believe Ruth was actually written as a rebuttal to those beliefs because the book of Ruth can also be seen as a parable about how God works through the most unexpected of sources, how God works through people that others have marginalized, declared less than, allowed only to live and work on the fringes of the community.

A foreigner and a woman, Ruth doesn’t stay less than and excluded for long though.  She marries again and becomes part of the family tree of King David and Jesus.  So this parable could be interpreted as “woe to you who judge others as unworthy; caution to those who exclude the stranger and the foreigner because they might be God’s servant come to change the world.”

This book about a woman, this passage which speaks of three women, has also been interpreted in favor of women’s rights as well as against women’s rights.  Orpah, the other daughter-in-law, is the model of obedient womanhood.  She faithfully cares for her husband and her mother-in-law.  She is willing to travel to a foreign country with Naomi.  But when Naomi tells her to go back to her mother’s house so she can start anew and be remarried, Orpah listens.  She weeps with great sorrow and still obeys and turns back.  And that is the end of Orpah’s story.  No one cares to tell her tale.  Is this a parable about “well behaved women seldom make history”?

Ruth, on the other hand, who is argumentative and refuses to leave Naomi, can be held up as a role model for following your heart and not your logic.  Ruth can be celebrated as a determined, persevering woman, and yet some cultures have used her devotion against women.  According to something I read, church leaders in Japan have used Ruth as the reason why faithful Christian women should practice self-sacrificing devotion to their mothers-in-law, thus upholding their cultural traditions.

The parable of Ruth can be interpreted in numerous ways.  When I read this story, I think about family, about what makes a family.  Ruth and Naomi are family-in-law.  When we talk or think about in-laws, it’s usually not in a flattering way, especially with mothers-in-law.  I don’t know any; however I am aware that there are lots of unkind mother-in-law jokes out there.

So it’s interesting that Ruth when presented with the choice to return to her mother’s house to be married again; Ruth when presented with the practical choice to go back and seek security; Ruth does not.

Ruth chooses Naomi.  Ruth chooses a woman who is not her family by biology.  Ruth chooses a woman who is not her family by nationality or culture.  To Ruth, none of that matters.

 

Some of us are blessed to have a really supportive, loving family of origin.  Some of us are blessed to have memories of happy times spent together with parents and siblings, large family gatherings with lots of cousins.  Some of us are really blessed to have the family we were born into be the one we would and do choose as our family.

I, myself, grew up at quite a distance from extended family.  I have wonderful memories of my grandparents.  I enjoy time with my aunts and uncles and cousins when I see them.  However those times are infrequent.  My extended family has never been a part of my daily life.  My church families have been though.

Since the day I was baptized, I have been part of a wider family, the wider family of Jesus Christ.  I don’t have any memories of the Methodist church where I was baptized and began my life as a Christian; however I went back decades after we moved away and they remembered me.  They shared with me stories of how I was their church family.

I do have lots of wonderful memories of all of the other churches in Connecticut, Michigan, and Massachusetts that I have belonged to:  holidays gathered together; meals shared; worship services and retreats; laughter and fellowship.

The story of Ruth shows us that families are created.  Families are created by birth.  Families are created by marriage; families are created by love; and families are created by choice.

What makes a family is being willing, like Ruth, to say, “I choose you.  I didn’t have to and still I chose you.  Where you go, I will go.  Where you live, I will live.  Your people shall be my people and your God my God.”

 

It’s understandable why this passage from Ruth might be read at a wedding. It makes sense that this powerful declaration of love, loyalty, and devotion might be a part of this new chapter in a couple’s life.  It’s not just good news for a wedding day though.  These healing words, these inspiring words, this faithful words are ones we should speak every day – to all the children in our lives, to all of the elders in our lives, to our friends, to our relatives, to our church family, at holiday meals, at ordinary meals, at game nights and even in the church parking.

“I choose you.  I choose you as my family.  I don’t have to and still I do.  Where you go, I will go.  Where you live, I will live.  Your people shall be my people and your God my God.”

We are chosen.  We are beloved.  We are family, a part of this church family, a part of God’s family.  Today and every day, you are chosen.  You are loved.